To a Certain Academic Advisor Who Will Not Be Named

for someone else who will not be named

I know we have our differences, but for now
let us set them aside, and try to work toward a common goal,
namely, me graduating as painlessly as possible. Me
getting all my scholarship money. You helping me figure
things out, with the least amount of sarcasm
and mean-spiritedness - on your part -
as possible.

Do not force me to do something rash:
such as write about you in some future poem,
one that does not put you in the best light
but does not mention you by name. This
is not because I am generous, or nice,
or prone to forgiving people. No, it
is because of the sheer ugliness
of your name, how it does not suit
the mouth at all.

Imagine: hawking
a loogie, and then realizing that you have
nowhere to spit it out. That's your name:
the moment right after, when you first taste
exactly how gross it is, how pungent,
how much time it has to sit in your mouth.